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Guacamole

For some reason, my mother bought a bunch of avocados. I’m talking a whole lot of ‘em. Like ten. I haven’t the faintest idea why she did that, as no one in our house likes avocados. Except in the form of guacamole. According to my brother’s best friend, whose mother is Latina, I make guacamole like a Mexican housewife. Even my brother, a self-proclaimed guacamole hater, enjoys it Unfortunately, a lot of the avocados had become over-ripe by the time I came home for Christmas break and got to make them into something more delicious…However, it still turned out pretty yummy, even with avocados that were nearing the point of being unusable and without fresh cilantro like I usually use.

Ingredients for my guacamole

You can tell the ripeness of an avocado by feel. Press lightly with your thumb against that soft, pebbly skin. If it’s hard, it’s not ripe yet. If it’s firm, yet has a bit of give, it’s ripe. If it’s soft and has an excessive amount of give, to the point of being squishy, it’s over-ripe. If you cut into it an over-ripe avocado…Well…

For illustrative purposes, this is what the inside of an over-ripe avocado looks like...Compare to the beautiful green of the ones in the background.

And now, something pretty, to make up for all the ugliness in the photograph above. Red onions and avocados are just downright beautiful, I think. Just look at these colors.

Gorgeous!

Moving on!

Guacamole

3-4 ripe avocados
1/2 a red onion, diced
1-2 medium tomatoes, diced
1 garlic clove, minced
red pepper flakes
juice of one lime or lemon
chile powder
cilantro
salt
pepper
sour cream (optional)

Begin by halving the avocados. Simply slide your knife through the flesh until you feel the pit, then run the blade lengthwise before grasping the two halves and twisting. They should come apart easily, revealing the lovely, creamy green insides and the slippery, ovular pit. You can then take the knife and give the pit a good whack with the sharp side of the blade, imbedding it in the surface, in order to pull the pit free. It’s much too slick to get it out with your fingers. Throw away the pits and then, using a spoon, scoop out the guts of the avocados, scraping the insides of the skins clean and then disposing of them as well. Use a fork to mash up the avocados in the bowl before adding your diced tomato, red onion, and minced garlic. Mix together thoroughly, then add the citrus juice and other seasonings. Lime is best, I think, but I only had lemon juice on hand. I prefer to use fresh cilantro, but in lieu of that, dried cilantro still gives a good amount of flavor. Also, most recipes call for fresh, spicy, jalapeño chiles, but I am a huuuge wimp when it comes to spicy things, so I just used a couple shakes of red pepper flakes and a pinch or two of chile powder. You can use couple of dried ancho chiles if you prefer. Finish with a few grinds of fresh cracked black pepper and salt to taste. You can also add a dollop or two of sour cream, if you like. Some people may cringe at the addition of sour cream to guacamole, but in this case it helped me make the most of the few suitable avocados we had left. Plus, my mother over-bought on the sour cream too, so we have three whole containers of it right now! I figured I’d use some of it up

Mmmmmmmm...

I only managed to get one picture of the finished product before my family descended upon the bowl and completely desecrated it, leaving it feeling empty and violated. I guess that’s a testament to how tasty fresh guacamole can be!

Holiday Shortbread.

This recipe is actually one I haven’t tried yet, but it’s probably my absolute favorite holiday treat.  Each year, Laure Kawa, my mother’s friend from work, gives us a perfectly round, delightfully buttery, fork-pricked shortbread.  It’s something I look forward to each year and, one year, I’m going to try it myself, but for now, I’d just like to share with you the recipe she shared with us. 

Laure’s Shortbread

Butter (2 sticks, unsalted)
1/2 c. sugar
2 c. flour

Set the butter out to reach room temperature. Mix sugar into the softened butter. Slowly add flour and knead it into a ball. Flatten it out, pull in the sides, and prick the surface with a fork. Set the oven to 300F for 50-60 minutes.

Lovely holiday shortbread from Laure!

Super easy, huh? Check out how pretty it looks when you’re done!

Happy holidays, everyone!

Biscuits and Gravy

Well…I just attempted to make biscuits and gravy for breakfast, from scratch. It was, to say the least, a disaster. The biscuits didn’t rise properly, which meant they were dense and not at all tasty. The gravy was too salty. The base was also made with mostly olive oil left over from my Spanish-style fried egg, since the sausages I made gave off an unusually miniscule amount of fat, for some strange reason.

Now, I think that it’s possible that I measured wrong. I am not one to measure. I’m an eyeball-er. Which I think tends to be my downfall when it comes to baking. I need to be more patient and meticulous, which is the last thing I am when it comes to cooking. I like to fly by the seat of my pants. Take one glance at a recipe, get the basic gist, and wing the rest. There’s a possibility that the baking powder I used was old. Granted, it was an un-opened box, but, in my mother’s kitchen, there’s just no knowing with these things. There is also a distinct possibility that my oven was not hot enough. I set it to 450F just like Mr. Alton Brown suggested. What I did not do was check the oven thermometer to make sure it was really at 450 when the pre-heat timer dinged. Based on my post-disaster research, the lack of rise in my biscuits could have been on account of an oven that was not hot enough. Baking powder is activated by heat. If the temperature wasn’t hot enough, it didn’t get the powder working properly by the time my biscuits had had their 15 minutes of oven time.

So, anyway, before I hit the computer to do some research, I was sitting there moping and thinking to myself for the thousandth time that I’m just not a baker. That I will be relegated to canned biscuit dough and store-bought cookies for the rest of time. That I will never be able to bake light, tender biscuits for my future husband and our offspring. And then it occurred to me that maybe biscuit-making (and all other forms of fixing baked goods) is not a natural born gift, but something that is learned through trial and error. Which is why old Southern ladies are so damn good at it. They’ve had a lot of time to practice. And so I said to myself, “Self, it’s not that you’re destined to be a baking failure for the rest of your life. You just need practice! It’s OKAY that your first biscuits turned out like lumpy, tan hockey pucks. You’ve got plenty of time to gain experience.”

It’s not like I stepped into the kitchen one morning and whipped up a perfect batch of creamy scrambled eggs and flawlessly crisp bacon the first time. I had to practice. Maybe I just don’t understand baking the way I understand cooking – in a manner that gives me something close to an instinct as to when things are done and what flavors go well with what ingredients. It’s something that comes with trial and error, hands on experience, hours and hours in the kitchen. I’ve got time to learn. Just gotta keep pluggin’ away…But, for the time being, I’ve got one positive thought to cling to…

At least the dogs liked them.

Yakisoba (Fried Soba Noodles)

I have been on a serious Japanese food kick.  It all started ’cause I had a craving for my friend Sam’s father’s yakisoba (fried noodles).  Sam is half-Japanese and her father, Maro, is an excellent cook.  His sushi makes me melt into a happy little puddle of pure joy.  I’m not kidding.

Anyway.  I was on a bike ride with my roommate a few weeks ago, through our little college town (full of primarily aged, whitebread, biblethumping conservatives) when I spied a tiny corner market.  Tee Oriental Grocery!  I couldn’t believe it.  An Asian market on Main Street in Hicksville, Ohio!

So when this strange desire for yakisoba arose, I thought of that little market and decided to go there the next day.  What an adventure.  I wrote up the strangest grocery list I’ve ever had, which included tofu, seaweed, cabbage, miso paste, and dashi powder, among other things.  I wandered about that store, struggling blissfully amidst shelves lined with unidentifiable ingredients and illegible (to me, anyway) labels in both Chinese and Japanese.  Finally, I found everything I was looking for, without asking for help!  Except…for miso paste.  I searched and searched for that illusive miso paste and finally had to ask the cashier for help finding it.  Turns out…they were sold out!  So, I left there feeling extremely accomplished and believing that I would have most certainly found it if it had been there for me to find My lack of miso paste meant I couldn’t have any miso soup with my yakisoba, but I plan on heading back there soon to pick some up. And the yakisoba turned out great!

Yakisoba (Fried Soba Noodles)

Soba noodles
Pork (sliced into thin strips or chunks)
Cabbage (chunked or shredded)
Carrots (sliced thin)
Green onions (sliced thin)
Bean sprouts (optional)
Garlic
Sugar
Soy sauce
Mirin (Rice wine)
Vegetable oil
Sesame oil
Ginger (fresh grated or dried)
Salt and pepper

For the sauce, combine 2 tbsp soy sauce, 1 tbsp rice wine, salt and pepper, 1 tsp sugar, 1/8 tsp sesame oil, and a pinch of ginger. Let it all mingle together while you prepare the rest of the ingredients. Get the pork chunks marinating in a bit of minced garlic and some soy sauce. Then tend to the veggies and get everything cleaned and prepped. Cook the soba noodles according to package directions. Heat a pan with vegetable oil, add a bit of garlic and the pork, followed by the cabbage, carrots, and the white part of the green onions, which are sturdier and hold up to cooking better than the delicate greens. Let it all cook through, stirring often. Add in the noodles and the sauce. Fry for a few more minutes. Plate it and garnish, if you like, with the greens of the green onions and a bit of dried seaweed.

Soon I’m going to be making tamagoyaki (a sort of sweet fried egg roll-up) and also okonomiyaki (“Japanese pizza”).  I just realized that all the dishes I’m making are fried things…And Japanese food is supposed to be so light and healthy! 

Someday I swear I’m going to tackle sushi…Someday…

Pasta Carbonara (for One)

Tonight’s dinner was an absolutely delicious dish. I’d never tried it before, but it turned out positively fantastic!  If you’ve never had pasta carbonara, now is the time. As soon as you finish reading this, get up, go to the kitchen, and gather the ingredients. Seriously. This is a quick and extremely easy recipe. And it could not be more tasty!

Pasta Carbonara (for One)

Spaghetti noodles
Olive oil
Parmesan cheese
2 Strips of bacon, sliced/chopped
1 Egg
Salt and Pepper
Garlic, minced
Green onions, diced (optional)
Capers (optional)
Dry white wine (optional)

So, while your spaghetti is cooking in salted water, chop up some bacon slices into strips or chunks and toss them into a frying pan with a little bit of olive oil. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Let the bacon get almost to your desired crispy goodness before adding in a bit of garlic, capers, and one (or more) diced green onion. If you have it on hand, add in a splash of white wine. Stir it around and get up any tasty bits stuck to the bottom. This is called deglazing and it’s the source or lots and lots of flavor. Drain the pasta and return it to the pot. Dump the bacon sauce into the pot, turning down the flame to a low setting. Now comes the fun part. Beat the egg and lots and lots of parmesan cheese together in a bowl. Then stream it into the pot while stirring the noodles. Stir like crazy. You want the egg mixture to come together as a creamy sauce and to cook slightly. Plate it and devour! Trust me, it’s absolutely divine.

Ingredients line-up! Sans olive oil and wine.

Nice, crispy bacon bits, green onion, and capers!

Tasty bacon mixture on top of pasta, waiting for the egg and parmesan mixture.

Completed pasta carbonara dish! Topped with parmesan and some store bought bacon bits. HEAVENLY!

Now, go forth and cook!

Kiszka!

No recipe today.  Just a couple of pretty pictures.  Breakfast is my favorite meal to cook.  I think it’s hands down the greatest way to start the day, with a great, big, homecooked meal.  The other morning I had sunny side up eggs, wheat toast and kiszka.  Kiszka is Polish blood sausage (liken to black pudding or boudin noir) made with pig’s blood and barley.  Don’t knock it til you try it.  It’s delicious.  You slit the casing (traditionally pig intestine, but more commonly synthetic casing these days), slice it up, and fry it with a bit of butter.  I like it crispy and crunchy myself!  There’s something so happy about fried eggs for me.  They just look cheerful.  Despite all this talk of pig parts. 

Mona’s Pot Roast

This recipe is from one of my favorite people in the whole world, my friend Annie’s mother, Mona. She’s one of the most kind-hearted, sweetest, warmest women I’ve ever met and has created a home that is the absolute opposite of those that we all pine after in cooking or home and garden magazines…It’s rough, it’s cluttered, it’s dirty, it’s poorly designed, but it’s one of the most comfortable, welcoming places I’ve ever had the pleasure of spending time. I’m family there. It’s my home away from home. This recipe is one of Mona’s and I always ask for it when I go visit I made an attempt at it, but it wasn’t nearly as good as hers…I’ll be continuing to work at it until I get it down pat I don’t think I managed to properly sear both sides of the roast, nor did my onions get nice and carmelized the way Mona’s always are. Next time I go visit we’re going to make it together so that I can get a better feel for the recipe. Anyway! It still turned out tasty! This is, for me, the epitome of comfort food.

Mona’s Pot Roast

Beef roast
Carrots
Potatoes
Onions
Mushrooms (optional)
Garlic powder
Onion powder
Salt and pepper
Lawry’s

“The size of the roast and number of different vegetables will obviously with the number you want to serve.  Start by placing my roasting pan on the stove burner and adding just enough olive or vegetable oil to cover the bottom of the pan. Turn the burner on high. Rinse and pat the meat dry. While the oil is heating sprinkle one side of the roast with liberal amounts of garlic powder, onion powder, salt, pepper, and lawry’s seasoning. Rub the seasonings in then, when the oil is hot, carefully place the meat in the pan, seasoned side down. While that side is searing sprinkle the same seasonings to opposite side.  You want to almost burn the first side before turning it over and searing the other side. I usually peel my veggies while the meat is doing its thing. I peel potatoes and either quarter or halve them depending on how big they are. I always add at least 3 or 4 onions. I quarter a couple and drop them in just as the second side of the meat is done. Turn the burner off but leave the pan on it. Add your potatoes and the rest of the onions. Then add carrots. I usually peel them and cut in about 4 inch sections. I don’t usually split them.

Add a little water to the pan to stop the searing/burning process then sprinkle more of all the seasonings across the top. You should not really see the roast because it is covered in potatoes and carrots. After adding the seasoning slowly pour water back and forth across the top so some of the spices are washed down through the rest of the veggies. The water should completely cover the meat and most of the vegetables. Cover with a lid that has no openings in it or use a couple layers of aluminum foil. Place in oven at about 325 F  for a few hours or more. Time will vary depending on amount of ingredients. You may have to add a little water while it is roasting. This is important, it is one of the reasons the meat gets so tender. Tastes great with any kind of bread. If you like mushrooms those can be added as well, place them on top of the carrots. If you have leftovers this makes great beef stew, just add some water and peas. It also makes good homemade pot pie, add some brown gravy, whatever canned veggies you like and bake.”

-Mona L

Delicious, crispy, seared roast...Mmmm...

Chives, potatoes, carrots, and mushrooms

There's something so gorgeous about this picture. I just want to dive into there :O

Tasty bowl of veggies! All done

Gooseberry Crumb Cake

A few weeks ago, my friend Mary and I went to visit my grandmother in Chicago.  My grandma has had an incredibly interesting life.  A Poland-born Ukranian, she was raised on a farm and then wrenched from her childhood home and pawned into slavery before she was sixteen.  The soldiers who took her wanted her older sister, but her mother said, “No, no.  Take this one instead!”  And gave them my grandma.  She speaks somewhere around eighteen different languages and spent her formative years traveling Europe.  She was a military nurse, which I believe is how she met my grandfather.  Having spent the majority of her life living out of a suitcase, she’s a very stingy lady.  She doesn’t waste or throw away anything and certainly doesn’t mince words.  Her house is like a crazy combination between a thrift store, a trash heap, and a museum.  You just don’t know where to look first.  She’s one of my favorite people in the world and is very wise I hope that none of that came across negatively…I say all of these things with the utmost affection.

Mary in Gramma D's living room.

Anyway!  When we got there, she whipped out the gardening gloves and some big bowls and hauled our butts down to the garden to pick berries from the gooseberry bushes growing next to the gate.  These things were absolutely laden with plump, juicy berries!

Could these be any more gorgeous?

Besides being my lifelong best friend, Mary is also my cooking buddy!  She and I made this gooseberry crumb cake after taking home a tupperware the size of a hubcap filled with fresh, handpicked gooseberries!  We adapted this recipe from Kevin’s Closet Cooking blog.  Thanks, Kevin!  P.S. If you want to see a picture of the end result, visit his site.  We forgot to take pictures once it was done because we were too busy stuffing our faces…:)

Gooseberry Crumb Cake

Gooseberries
AP flour
Sugar
Brown sugar
Cornstarch
Ground ginger
Ground cinnamon
Salt
Butter
Sour cream
Eggs
Vanilla extract
Baking soda
Baking powder

Start off by plucking the flower and stem ends off of the gooseberries. If you have as many as we did, you’re definitely going to appreciate having a second (or third!) set of hands This task is a little time consuming, but…oddly, enjoyable. I think it’s the repetition and the pure domesticity of baking that puts me into this calm mindset wherein I completely love doing menial tasks like that. Anyway! Prep the berries and then rinse them thoroughly before tossing them in a mixture of 1/4 cup sugar, 2 teaspoons of cornstarch, and 1/2 teaspoon of ground ginger. Kevin’s recipe calls for two cups, but we added close to three, I think. Partially just to use up the gargantuan stash of berries and partially because that makes for more berries per bite

For the topping, mix 1/3 cup of brown sugar, 1/3 cup of sugar, 1 teaspoon of cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon of ginger, and a pinch of salt with a half cup of melted butter.

Next, combine 1/3 cup of sour cream, 1 egg, 1 egg yolk, and 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract. In another bowl, mix a 1 3/4 cups of flour with 1/2 cup of sugar, a pinch of salt, and 1/2 teaspoon each of baking soda and baking powder. The original recipe calls for cake flour, but we used regular old all-purpose flour with perfectly delicious results. (The only differene between cake flour and AP flour is that cake flour is a bit finer. If you want to be really particular, you can sift your AP flour to give it a similar texture to that of cake flour.) Drop six tablespoons of softened butter (cut into pats or slices) into the dry mixture before mixing in the wet ingredients a bit at a time. Grease an 8×8 baking dish and then pour in the majority of the batter. Spread the gooseberries over that and then top with the remaining batter and the crumbly brown sugar topping. Bake at 325F for about an hour.

I have a secret passion for these oven shots...They're so intimate and romantic!

Shrimp Scampi

When I was at my friend Mary’s house the other night, she whipped up some shrimp scampi for dinner.  It was phenomenal, fast, and had minimal ingredients.  Here’s my recipe for shrimp scampi, which is a bit more involved, but these were the ingredients I had on hand so I sort of embellished a bit to up the flavor.  All you really need is shrimp, pasta, garlic, olive oil, and lemon flavoring in some form.

Shrimp Scampi

A whole mess of large shrimp, peeled and de-veined
Linguine
Butter
Olive oil
Garlic, minced
Lemon juice
Dry, white wine
Green onions, sliced
Parsley
Lemon thyme
Red pepper flakes
Parmesan cheese, grated
Salt and pepper

Cook some pasta.  You can use whatever kind you like, from penne to linguine.  (I used linguine in my recipe.)  Put a pat of butter into a skillet and let it heat to foaming before adding the shrimp.  Add the minced garlic and green onions.  Cook (or warm them, if using pre-cooked) for a few minutes until done before drizzling in some of the wine and a splash of lemon juice.  Cook a minute or so more, letting the mixture thicken slightly and the harshness of the wine cook out some.  Scrape the bottom of the pan to get up all the tasty bits.  Add in a good pour of olive oil and the remaining seasonings (lemon thyme, parsley, and a pinch of red pepper flakes), before stirring it all up and dumping in the pasta.  Toss to coat.  Salt and pepper to taste, dish it out, and top with fresh grated parmesan Or the powdered kind in a plastic canister.  Both are tasty!

Minced garlic and diced up green onions in the background

Cute little shrimps! Tails removed and de-veined.

Cooking up and...

All done!

Quick Peanut Butter Banana Smoothie

This is not a healthy smoothie. Don’t be fooled by the bananas. lol! This has been my way of accomplishing two things over the last few days. Number one, I’ve had some serious sweets cravings lately. Number two, I had bananas that were starting to go a bit too dark for my taste, so I stuck ‘em in the freezer. This is about the only thing I could think to do with them.

Quick Peanut Butter Banana Smoothie

1 or 2 frozen bananas
A few spoonfuls of smooth peanut butter
Vanilla ice cream
Chocolate sauce
Milk

The first thing you need to do is peel the bananas, which can be quite a trick when they’re frozen. I had been using a knife to peel them because it’s really difficult to pull it free cleanly when it’s cold. Come to think of it, in the future, I’ll probably peel the bananas and then freeze them instead of the other way around. Basically, my whole point with the frozen bananas is that I don’t want to use ice cubes. Then you’ve got ice chunks in your smoothie. That’s just not cool. So the frozen bananas bring the temperature down, serving in place of ice cubes and as yummy flavoring. Cut the bananas into 1″ chunks. Toss them into the blender. Grab your jar of peanut butter and drop in a few spoonfuls. Then a few spoonfuls of ice cream. Chocolate ice cream would probably work great too, but vanilla is what I had on hand. Now pour in some milk. Just a bit at a time. You can always add more, but you can’t take it away. Blend. Then adjust. Taste it! Does it need a bit more peanut butter? Maybe some more milk to fix the consistency? As a final touch, pour some chocolate sauce in there, blend it up once more, then pour into glasses. If you feel like being fancy, you can do a little chocolate sauce decoration on top like I did Cheers!

Pretty smoothies!